...EXCERPT

I drove to San Diego, sold my stolen BMW car for $15,000 and decided to buy another car. I went to a Chevrolet dealer at Mile of Cars with all the cash I had, about $30,000, and I walked up to a young salesman. I opened the bag of money and showed him my wad of cash and said,

I'm gonna buy a car today, right now.

I could see him get real excited. I pointed at a shiny blue car and said,

I'd like to start by test-driving that Cutlass Sierra.

He asked for my ID. I gave him my driver's license and he went inside to photocopy it. He came out smiling, thinking he was gonna make a quick bundle. He said,

I have to drive it off the lot, for insurance purposes.

He drove to a bank parking lot, where he stopped the car with the motor running,. He got out of the car, meanwhile I pretended to get out of my door, and when he started to walk around the car I closed my door again and slid over to the driver side. He stopped and looked at me through the rear window. I turned to look at him and shouted I'm just scooting over, but I closed the driver door too, and then I automatically locked all the doors. He was at the passenger window by then, banging on it. I put the gear into drive and took off. He was banging on the trunk of the car, yelling at me, and he was pretty fast because he stayed with me for about 50 yards. Finally, I started to pull away from him. When I looked at my review mirror, I saw him standing defiant in the middle of the road with both of his arms in the air giving me his middle fingers. I laughed and nonchalantly raised my right arm and gave him the bird.

Twenty minutes later I was in Mexico, driving down the coast to Ensenada...